Count your silver linings because they were thrown at your face to make you strong because you can handle it...

Anyone who's ever struggled, and struggled openly has heard them.

Find the silver linings.
Count your blessings.
It could be worse.
God never gives you more than you can handle.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Those sayings that make you nod your head in forced aggreeance, and instantly inside admonish yourself for being a spoiled, rotten, ungrateful brat. Or........just me? Well that's okay.

See, most of my life it was driven into me by nearly everyone around me to be grateful for what I had. And I was. But it was also driven into my head any time I complained, and that made me feel as though it was never okay for me to be unhappy. Because someone else was always more unhappy. Because my feelings just weren't valid ENOUGH to warrant feeling that way.

It didn't stop after childhood. Maybe its just where I live, my lifestyle, my social circle, but I hear it EVERYWHERE as an adult. You're just not allowed to be unhappy without someone telling you why you're wrong.

But here's the thing. My being unhappy does NOT mean I'm not grateful. One doesn't equal the other. And my being unhappy doesn't invalidate someone else's unhappiness. Just as my happiness wouldn't invalidate someone else's happiness. It doesn't work that way. That's a completely illogical fallacy that we've created.

So why do we do it? I've done it. Gotten angry when someone else complains about something that I feel I have worse. Felt like someone should tell them to be grateful that its not way worse.

Here's my take on it, and you can take it or leave it. I think it comes out of a need for compassion. A need to be heard, to be loved. We are all taking on SO much in our lives, often alone, so when someone has the actual "AUDACITY" to voice it out loud, to tell others they're struggling, to express the need for community and support, we get angry, because we have suffered alone and silently. We, for whatever reason, didn't reach out. We were never reached out to. Whatever the reasoning behind it, the injustice of it hits us HARD and makes us angry that this other person is going to get the love and compassion we didn't get.

So as we come into the "national month of love" (can you see all that sarcasm dripping around here?) here's the challenge I'm taking, that I extend to everyone else. Treat each other with love. Don't project your hurts onto someone else and expect them to continue that cycle. Allow it to stop by extending the love and compassion you wish you'd gotten.

Let's stop the comparing guys. And start the loving.